From kindergarden to grade 13, I went to a Catholic school. In school we had religion classes, and hen we were being confirmed in grade 8, we had to pick out a saint in whose name we would be confirmed. So we spent the better part of a week poring over books of Catholic saints, looking for divine inspiration...then the girls in the class discovered that our teacher, Mrs. Kelly, was confirmed with a male saint's name, Saint Frederick.
After that, of course, all of the girls (or most of them anyway) leaned toward boy names, including myself. (Saint Robert). I had long-since forgotten what he was the saint of. I always told people that he was the patron saint of sarcasm...but for years I've been wanting to buy a book of saints.
Today I found a great one! "This Saint's For You!" by Thomas J. Craughwell has detailed information on "300 heavenly allies for architects, athletes, brides, bachelors, babies, librarians, murderers, whales, widows and you". And St. Robert? Turns out he is the patron saint of catechism teachers. Hmm. Who knew?
Cruising through this book has given me some new saints to pray to though, geared especially to me:
St. Expeditus: The Patron Saint of Procrasination (Feast Day, April 19). In art, he is often depicted trampling on a raven that is labelled "cras", Latin for "tomorrow".
St. Martha: Patron Saint of Those Stressed by Guests. She is a good pick for this, as who would be more stressed than the woman who served dinner to the Son of God?
St. Bonaventure: Patron Saint of Bowel Disorders. As a sufferer of IBS, I now know who to pray to in times of abdominal distress.
St. Marculf: Patron Saint of Skin Rashes. I am also the queen of brutal eczema, so this is a good one to know as well.
Listen, there is a helpful saint out there for all of you...
Parents of Disaapointing Children? Pray to St. Matilda
Physically Unattractive? Pray to St. Germaine Cousin
Sore Throat? Pray to St. Blaise
To Find a Husband? Pray to St. Andrew
There's hope for us all...